~Do you ever find yourself staring at a blank page? Feeling as if you’re at the cusp of something really good, but you can’t quite put a pen to it. Anything and everything seems to be stopping you from making your mark on that damn scary blank page.~

Oh that exciting feeling I get when I purchase a new journal filled with hundreds of blank pages, the possibilities feel endless. The design, the cover, the texture of the pages represent a new start, a new season, a new me.

As I take a look back, I recognize that creating and writing has played quite a significant role in my life. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’ve dabbled in quite a few different things. From writing plays with friends to perform for my parents when I was younger, to creating interpretive dances, plays, songs, blogs, movies, the list goes on, but I’ll stop before it gets too embarrassing.

As I grow older it becomes harder to write and create freely, I’m sure there are many out there that would share my feelings on this. Theres a lot of people to compare yourself to, a lot of people with opinions and a lot of challenging questions you ask yourself that turn into really good excuses for remaining stuck in blank.

I can’t tell you how many times I have carted that new journal with me, with good intentions, and just let it sit there. I do anything and everything to avoid those terrifying blank pages. Insert huge revelation had here ——> My blank page goes much further than a bad case of writers block and not knowing what to create. So what are they then?

 Perhaps I’m not aware of them all, but heres what I do know..

My blank page, is my ego, its worried about what others think and stops me from being free to express myself, to let go and to make things happen. The bad thing about this one is that if you find that you are a person that is held back, you will actually hold other people back in the process, definitely something to think about here.

My blank page is fear of what ‘starting’ means. You see when you start something, you’re possibly in one of the most vulnerable places you could be. Starting means putting yourself out there and thats guaranteed to have a lot of FAILURE AHEAD signs.  Josh shared this video with me called ‘Nobody Tells This To Beginners’. I encourage anyone to watch it who has ever tried to start anything or thinking about it. Keep going, keep doing, keep failing and get used to picking yourself up. That was me just talking to myself there.

My blank page is coming face to face with reality (aka face to face with myself).  When you write your thoughts out, things become a lot more clear, a lot more real. You’re no longer a vegetable watching hours of Netflix when you start putting words on a page. You’re a real person, with real feelings and although this is actually a good thing it proves to be equally scary.

My blank page means letting lose on my perfectionist side and “doing” more than I “think”. I hate this one a lot, because why would I share or do anything unless in my eyes its perfect? Well, in short, its because I wouldn’t actually complete anything at all, I would have a lot of unfinished projects and a lot of thoughts that stay locked up in my mind and they’re useless there.

My blank page is avoidance. Lets face it, its so easy to avoid whats actually going on inside our heads, inside our relationships, inside our worlds. Its so much easier to avoid these things that are hard to face. Its time to face the person people actually see, not the person you feel like you are. Its true what they, that the truth will set you free.  Its hard to go to those deep and dark places, to actually ask yourself the hard questions and figure out what you need to change. Trying means you will constantly be critiqued, and thats not for the faint of heart. Avoidance kills creativity, kills motivation and ultimately kills who you are.

My blank page is being afraid of hard work. Hard work is the key to success, and that takes time and patience that I lack. I want instant results, and I want them NOW and the lack of seeing progress is bothersome. I have been working hard to live a more disciplined life to achieve balance and I’ll be real, its not been easy and I make mistakes almost daily. A thought I should probably become more acquainted with is that instant results will dissipate quickly, but the disciplines that are built over time will have a much more rewarding and lasting outcome. I guess that means no more fad diets or quick fixes for this girl. I’m getting used to this discipline and patience thing, learning to enjoy the journey and life is actually feeling more enjoyable.

Moving forward, its always a challenge not to look back and dwell about all the time wasted, but in grace I tell myself that this was part of my journey, part of my becoming and I’m no where near giving up. I’m resilient, I am strong and I’ll fight hard until the pages are anything but blank. #karatekick #dosomething #nevertoolate #letsmakesomethinghappen (that last # was for you Josh)

❤ Lizzie

xo